Goodbye
by Nunchi
Summary: When everything is against you... when your family just criticizes you... you can only take so much... (Pan's POV) R&R!


Goodbye  
Author: xkiiix  
  
Disclaimer: I only own the plot and the story.  
A/N: This is Pan's POV  
  
Why does everything have to happen to her? Why can't she just be normal?  
Everyday, she faced the same thing over and over again. Everyday, she had  
to scream her lungs out, trying to keep her tears inside. Why can't she  
just lead a normal loving life - with parents that don't always criticize  
her for everything that she does. Why can't they just leave her alone...?  
  
She just wanted to escape from the cruel world. Is that so much to ask for?  
She'd tried everything – music, T.V., schoolwork, going out with her  
friends, clubbing, and even drinking – but it was to no avail. By taking  
one step into her home, she was constantly reminded by how dumb, and how  
useless she was. She was constantly reminded how they wish that she was  
never born – that she was just something that they didn't have enough money  
to get rid of.  
  
Her father had a bad temper; he was usually the one criticizing her  
whenever he could. It didn't matter when and where- he would criticize her  
when he finds something that doesn't reach his standards. No matter what  
she do, no matter how hard she tried, she just wasn't good enough.  
Constantly reminded of her uselessness, she slowly begun to believe it  
herself. She began to believe that she was nothing but trash that just  
can't be thrown away. There was no one that could help her. Even her own  
mother couldn't help her. Her own mother... she could never confront her  
father. She was an old-fashioned lady.  
  
How long... how long has it been since she had been hiding her pain...? No one  
in school knew about it. Not even her closest friends. They don't know the  
pain that she's going through, nor how many nights she had spent crying  
herself to sleep. They don't know how hard it is to hide it. She had wanted  
to tell them. Oh, she had so badly wanted to tell them everything. She  
wanted to have someone to talk to about her pain. But... how could they  
understand...? She had met their parents before... They were so loving to their  
children... so loving that she wanted to run away. She couldn't bare watching  
parents being to loving to their kids without hating them. Hating them for  
having something that she would never have.  
  
Why had God done this to her? For what purpose those he think this would  
fulfill? Does he want her to become some psychopath that would free the  
world of the bad? Does he think that any good would come out of this...?  
  
She's lying down on her bed now, thinking... What would it be like if she had  
never existed? She wouldn't have to go through all this pain... Her parents  
wouldn't have to have a disgraceful daughter like her. Everyone would be  
happy right? She could just imagine their reactions. They could be off on a  
vacation every summer, just the two of them enjoying life. They wouldn't  
have to spend so much money and even might buy their own home. Her friends  
wouldn't have to go through her constant mood swings. They can be off  
together, going to the beach, shooting pool, going to the movies, and even  
go bowling. They won't have to listen to her anymore nor even see her. They  
all would be happy...  
  
Her eyes lingered around various things in her room. It was a mess.  
Everything was piled upon each other due to her clothes. If she didn't  
exist, this room might be a nice sitting room. Her eyes wandered a bit more  
until it lay upon the butterfly knife that sat upon her desk, gleaming  
under the light from the desk lamp. It looked almost inviting... beckoning  
her to take it. It's blade looks so cold under the light... waiting for her.  
Tentatively, she reached for it and brought it in front of her eyes. The  
blade was spotless, reflecting her face off the blade. Her thoughts raced  
around the thought of suicide. It wouldn't hurt, right? With her death, her  
parents can be happy again. Her parents can go on with their lives, living  
happily until they could barely remember her name. In the end, she would  
just be known as the girl that died years ago... Her friends might care a  
bit, but after the first week or so, they would be fine and living on with  
their lives. They would later forget her as years go by. They don't need  
her. They were better off without her...  
  
If she committed suicide... she can finally escape... She can finally escape  
from the world like she had wished to for day after day. She can leave this  
cruel world behind and just... fly away like the wind. She smiled a  
bittersweet smile as she raised her wrist above her face. It won't take  
long for her to die. Just a few draining moments and she'll be gone...  
Slowly, she placed the blade against her wrist. It felt cool to the touch.  
After taking one last glance around her room, she sliced the blade across  
her wrist.  
  
"Goodbye cruel world... I hope you rot in hell." 


End file.
